Well, I made it through the ceremony and the rest of the day stable and solid. The kids started their new time for Karate and can I say it was awesome; we had dinner and David was able to go to sleep in his own bed at his normal time (6pm). I didn't have to rush at all, it was good planning all around (patting myself on the back). Both boys got new stripes on their white belts for completing their life lessons for last month (they give boys a scripture to reflect on and a assignment to complete that coincides with that scripture verse); they have two more tests before they can become yellow belts. We are all so excited and I love watching them during class, especially when they look back for me and smile; it makes it all worth it. David on the other hand is becoming a bigger challenge everyday; he now can climb to the top of the stair in a few seconds and knows how to unlock the child's gate. He is almost as big as Jonathan and it smart as a tack; whenever I tell him not to touch something he does this little puppy dog face (I swear Ping had to teach him this) and buries his little head in my legs crying. Its so hard to be upset when you have those big brown eyes filled with tears looking up at you; it gets me every time. I was doing pretty good and was feeling pretty good too. It wasn't until that night when I was sleeping did it hit me; I kept scooting to Pings side of the bed trying to locate him so I could lay in my nook like I usually do and I guess when my body couldn't find him there, it kept on looking. I woke up this morning like I had been in a wrestling match; I must have tossed and turned all night. I have never had a night like that and I hope I never do again, anyways I have been running at a quarter of a tank all day and no amount of coffee has helped. I think I need a cup of coffee just to come up to normal tiredness....Man.
With all that being said I am very optimistic about this year, we are in a better place then we have ever been and we both recognize the need for a secure foundation in Christ. I am also in a better place then I have ever been; talking to Ping Sunday night I told him I felt like my life was a bunch of brightly color balls up in the air and I was the juggler waiting for them to fall back down (realizing there were more balls then I had hands). I had been scared that a few of the balls where going to fall to the ground and I was fearful of what balls that might be but now its the craziest thing; I feel so calm, relaxed, and even at ease with the state of things. There will always bills, laundry, boys fighting, assignments, homework, arguments, housework, and other things that need my attention but me worrying about them is not going to get them done any sooner or bring me any peace; I am just so RELAXED (my husband's favorite direction to give me). I have been praying for the Lord's burden, for his yoke and he answered my prayer.....I have such a peace right now. I cannot praise the Lord enough for his constant hand in my life. I just pray that he gives my husband the same kind of peace.....Sending you light and love sweetheart.